About 2 months ago I took this job in New York city, we (the wife and me) moved into a nice condo right outside the city just entering New Jersey... so far so good, just wanted to give you a little background
Now I went for my run, I try to run at least 3 times per week, there is a park which is exactly 1.5 miles around which is perfect to do a lap and then head home, today, my inlaws dropped in to see our new place, the old man is living it up since retirement, he was a lawyer for many years and has bought an Aston Martin DB9 (yes it was used, but only by 2k miles) it turns out that as of last week there are way to many cars in our property, we had an old SUV which is our work horse, sits in the garage, last week the lady of the house traded her 1999 Maxima for a 2008 Pontiac G6 GXP, that is in the garage too, now that leaves my old RX-7 to sit out in the street which is no prob for me anyway, (I know it is getting long but bear with me)
I was a bit worried about the DB9 sitting outside, so I took out the truck and told him to bring the Aston in, he threw me the keys and asked me to do it since I was going for a run... I like where this is going, I get to drive an Db9! I had ran maybe .25 of a mile before I noticed the Aston and I saw this incredibly hideous woman, (belly sticks out farther than the chest and ass is flat like a board) somehow using the reflection of the car to adjust her incredibly nappy hair extensions... I approached slowly, thinking this must be a crazy woman, as I get closer she gives me a weird look and starts to yell at me, I stopped getting close, thinking I may have to fend her off somehow, she is yelling, "my money, my sweat!" "motherfu#@!" "my money my sweat my car"
I am like... WTF?
so I get around the driver side and of course the car opened since I had the key in my sock, I jumped in very fast and immediately locked myself in, I hit the start and drove off, but the lady went after me, to my horror there is this stop sign real close so I had to stop and wait for a couple of kids to cross, by this time the crazy bitch is smacking the back glass and I see a mob of people coming from the park, I couldn't hear what the woman was yelling, but I was surrounded by people now, if I moved the car I would hit somebody... this is when I heard one of the men that had run up to the car say "get out the car"
WTF? one of them jumped on the hood and of course now I was upset, I knew the hood was ruined by this 200LB bastard, I caould see police lights faintly across the mob banging and rocking the car, suddenly the back glass shattered and I looked in the mirror and saw the old crazy bitch which obviously had done it... 2 armed policemen then approched the car, and I am told to turn off the vehicle and keep hands where they can see them, the mob had formed a circle around, I am told to get out and then I am thrown against the car and searched while the other cop points a taser at me, I am asked if this is my car at which point I say it's my inlaws and I am taking it to our house, people start to take off now, I had my cell so I call home and have them come out, the old man was clearly furious, this is when I noticed the crazy bitch running about half a block away, so I tell the cop there go get her she broke the glass, get her, he yells and goes after her while we explained to the cop whose car it was and looking at the damage, I see the fucker that jumped on the hood and I see he is trying to get thru the mob, obviously trying to escape, I tell the cop, you see him he damaged the hood, the whole mob of low life idiots is yelling obscenities and taunting me, I couldn't take it anymore when I saw him get thru and start running off, I left my father in law there and then went after him, quickly getting to him and grabbing at his jeans, he turned and took a swing which missed my nose by a few hairs, I take my swing and don't miss, before I can take a second I am grabbed by the cop and told to step away
The rest is me being placed in handcuffs, sat in the back of a cruiser, an ambulance came and picked up the delirious woman, next I am taken out of cruiser, handcuffs off, given info on police report, told that I most likely cannot press charges but that the fat bastard I socked can!
I am also told that the crazy woman is just that, crazy! and that our insurance should pick the tab for the damage to car, I drove the car back to our garage, my father in law has not spoken to anyone since, it has been 8 hours since it happened, about an hour ago I went to the garage and found the old man (he is 67) in front of the car with a very sad look on him, this upset me so much that I went back in and have been drinking whiskey non stop, I am so infuriated I could kill right now, and you know what, I think I know exactly how hew feels, he worked his whole life, always loved cars, never had a nice one, it wasn't until retirement he could get himself that gorgeous Aston Martin, now it is ruined, the police of course are not doing shyte, except for filling a report and telling him to call his insurance, and you know what? I do not want to sound racist, because I am not at all, but all these morons were black or hispanic, did they send all the retards to live in Jersey? I mean come on! how could anyone think that this crazy, dirty and smelly woman owned this car? (which is obviously why they mobbed the car) why did the cops treat me like a criminal? is it because I am half british? is it because I speak with a Leeds accent?
I thought of posting this here because as me, you all love cars, I have been given the go ahead to get me a new toy but haven't yet