Jokes and Humour Got a joke, funny picture or video to share? Post it here |
10-17-2006, 05:52 PM
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#1
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Regular User
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: The 51st State
Posts: 10,181
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Men are just happier people...
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
-Your last name stays put.
-The garage is all yours.
-Wedding plans take care of themselves.
-Chocolate is just another snack.
-You can be President.
-You can never be pregnant.
-You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
-You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
-Car mechanics tell you the truth.
-The world is your urinal.
-You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
-You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
-Same work, more pay.
-Wrinkles add character.
-Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
-People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
-The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
-New shoes don’t cut , blister, or mangle your feet.
-One mood all the time.
-Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
-You know stuff about tanks.
-A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
-You can open all your own jars.
-You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
-If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
-Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
-Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
-You almost never have strap problems in public.
-You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
-Everything on your face stays its original color.
-The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
-You only have to shave your face and neck.
-You can play with toys all your life.
-Your belly usually hides your big hips.
-One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons.
-You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
-You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife.
-You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
-You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
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10-17-2006, 06:42 PM
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#2
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Regular User
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Rotterdam, Holland, EU
Posts: 3,767
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-You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
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-The world is your urinal.
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-If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
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lol these are the best
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10-17-2006, 07:05 PM
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#3
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Regular User
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,537
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-Car mechanics tell you the truth.
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That one's not always true. I've been lied to by the Toyota dealership here in my college town. Assholes wanted to replace like $1200 worth of stuff in the engine when it really only needed about $300 worth when I got it checked in my home town by a garage.
As for the rest, lots of that is true, being a man rules 8)
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10-17-2006, 07:08 PM
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#4
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Regular User
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Rotterdam, Holland, EU
Posts: 3,767
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lol if i may add 1 reason, they get to have sex with women  booooooooobies
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10-18-2006, 06:26 AM
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#5
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Regular User
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 6,610
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^Well sex is kinda mutual so that's not really a benefit...
-You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
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haha!
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One victory does not constitute total success.
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10-18-2006, 07:06 AM
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#6
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Regular User
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: The 51st State
Posts: 10,181
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I just had to share them, being a guy is great
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10-25-2006, 09:20 PM
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#7
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Regular User
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: not where i want to be.. but life's a bitch i guess..
Posts: 3,262
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and thank GOD we don't have to bleed out the penis once a month! :shock:  :fuck:
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