Post Your Favourite Quote

[ViperASR]

"Rise Toybota!" -JC

[Firdosh7747]

"it doesnt matter if you win by an inch or a mile winning is.. WINNING"

- Vin D.

[gis]

"The only reason your still concious is because i dont want to carry you" - Jack Bauer (24)

[Max Power]

JERRY: Elaine, what percentage of people would you say are good looking?

ELAINE: Twenty-five percent.

JERRY: Twenty-five percent, you say? No way! It's like 4 to 6 percent. It's a twenty to one shot.

ELAINE: You're way off.

JERRY: Way off? Have you been to the motor vehicle bureau? It's like a leper colony down there.

ELAINE: So what you are saying is that 90 to 95 percent of the population is undateable?

JERRY: UNDATEABLE!

ELAINE: Then how are all these people getting together?

JERRY: Alcohol.

[Stoopie]

Nietzsche: "To do is to be"
Sarte: "To be is to do"
Sinatra: "Do be do be do"

[Mattk]

Originally Posted by Stoopie Nietzsche: "To do is to be" Sarte: "To be is to do" Sinatra: "Do be do be do"

My former history teacher told us of how three different people had managed to come up with that one through toilet graffiti.

[Stoopie]

Creative kids at your school then Mattk

[blinkmeat]

Originally Posted by Stoopie Creative kids at your school then Mattk

tell me they weren't post-modernists - that would be disgusting

[TopGearNL]

''Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.''
-- (Winston Churchill replying to Lady Astor's comment 'Sir, you're drunk!')

[TopGearNL]

''When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross.''
-- Clint Eastwood (Dirty Harry, 1971)

''This film cost $31 million. With that kind of money I could have invaded some country.''
-- Clint Eastwood

[Erez]

"I reject your reality and substitute my own."
-Adam Savage


..Churchill has the best once.. the man was awesome 8)

[Everlasting]

"Thankfully, alert gauchos were able to save the llama before it was swept into the blades of the turbine."

"I believe all God's creatures have a soul...except bears--bears are godless killing machines!"

"Giving a fly glasses is like giving a bear nunchucks."

"There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends that are going to hell."

"Remember, Jesus would rather constantly shame gays than let orphans have a family."

"A lot of people will say, 'Stephen, Japan beat Cuba in the World Baseball Classic finals. The US was eliminated in the semifinals by Mexico. How can we be the world champions?' Well, yes, Japan beat Cuba. But don't forget, we beat Japan, in World War II. So we are the champions! Yes! USA! USA! USA!"

"I've never been a fan of Amphibians. Not only do they strengthen the argument for evolution, they are Nature's fence-sitters. Come on Amphibians, which is it: water or land? Pick one, we're at war."

"So you're the Fashion Editor at the Washington Post. Isn't that like being the Dance Critic at the Southern Baptist Convention?"

"I've said it before: equations are the devil's sentences. The worst one is that quadratic equation. An infernal salad of numbers, letters, and symbols."

On speculation that JK Rowling will kill off Harry Potter in the seventh book: "Wise move. He's a wizard; he should have been stoned a long time ago. Leviticus, read it!"

On Joe Lieberman: "He's running as an independent democrat, which if I'm not mistaken, is the political equivilant of a labradoodle."

"And of course I don't go anywhere without my pet goldfish, Anthrax. I always tell security I'm carrying Anthrax. Yeah, sure I get a lot of guff about it, but it's a family name; I'm not changing it!"

"Hey America. Nice ass!"


-- Stephen Colbert "The Colbert Report"

this is only a small collection everything he says is quotable, pure gold every night! hilarity is assured. funniest man on television!