10 Ways to Terrorize a Telemarketer

[Maverick7K]

OK... It is a weekday and you are silently sleeping in your cozy, warm bed and all of a sudden you are wakened by a load ringing noise only this time it isn't your alarm clock. It is your phone and it has the double ring...

Now who could be calling you this early in the morning? So who could it be? That's right! Telemarketer's!! Grrr.... Well anyway .. next time they call use the following techniques to thank them for waking you.

10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."

9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends ... would you be my friend?"

6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips.

4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Say good bye - and hang up.

2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?" And first and foremost:

1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.

[GT-R_R34]

cool tip i might as well use them

[SilviaS15Cwest]

Lucky for me Colorado has a no call list for telemarketers. I dont have to worry about it.

[Overmind]

what the hell is telemarketing? anyways it sounds like real fun .

[Maverick7K]

what the hell is telemarketing? anyways it sounds like real fun .

LOL, I was a telemarketer for AT&T back in the day so I just had to post it.

[SFDMALEX]

LOL Good ones.

[Zonda11]

WOW....I was looking for something like this! Thanks so much!


I particularly hate those who are selling windows and doors, lawn care, and those asking for donations.

[Zonda11]

Tele -- Marketing ( Marketing [selling] something over the telephone)

They call at dinner time during the week and try to sell you some useless crap, something you already have, or ask you for donations. Some people from phone companies will try to put down their competitors and talk a bunch of shit to try to get you to switch to their company/plan.

[Overmind]

Originally Posted by Zonda11 Tele -- Marketing ( Marketing [selling] something over the telephone) They call at dinner time during the week and try to sell you some useless crap, something you already have, or ask you for donations. Some people from phone companies will try to put down their competitors and talk a bunch of shit to try to get you to switch to their company/plan.

well, thanks for explaining, we don't have this kind of achievements here yet. Or at least no one ever tried to sell anything to me by phone.

LOL, and you need manuals like this to fuck them around?

[Maverick7K]

had a lot of free time then, school was really easy for me those days, so sometimes I went 4 evenings a week, easy money. But after 6 months I was getting crazy of it and quit, had enough money for a while

You lasted longer that I did...LOL

[Overmind]

Originally Posted by thamar But after 6 months I was getting crazy of it and quit

you began thinking of buying some stuff?