motor

Apac102 · 04-13-2008, 05:53 AM

I just wanted to tell you guys what happened to me the past weekend and wondering if I'm the one who is going a little extreme.

So heres the set up, I always had a crush on this girl that in one of my college classes. We saw each other everyday and hit it off. One of my best friends in college knew about the fact that I really liked this girl and he also began to become really good friends with her as well. About 3 months ago, we went out and got drunk at the bars and started to make out with her and I and i told her about how I feel. We then had to go on rotations (med school) and we haven't seen each other until this past week. My good friend, her, and a bunch of classmates went to a conference down in florida. While talking to one of her friends, she accidently let it slip that she liked me and I should try to go after her. So one night we go out to the dance clubs/bars and I tell my buddy about this news and he tells me to go for it. by the end of the night, he is slow dancing with her and they begin to make out on the dance floor while I sit there and watch. I leave the club early and head back to the hotel and then they come in about 2 hrs later, they come back and crash on my bed and begin to make out some more. i get up and change to the other bed but just listen to them make out the rest of the night. The next day my friend apologized but I played it off like it didn't bother me but I didn't talk to either one of them for the rest of the stay, and i doubt I will ever talk to them ever again.

Oh, and here's the kicker; he's engaged and is going to get married in 2 months.

So is it a bit extreme on my part that I don't think I will ever talk to either one of them again? Nobody has ever stooped that low. I know when your drunk you screw up, but the fact is the kissed on the dance floor, she and he both knew about his engagement and on top of that he knew that I liked her as well yet they came back and still made out the rest of the night.

styla21 · 04-13-2008, 06:21 AM

OUCH. Sorry mate, what shitty situation.
After re-reading your post and thought about it a little, here's my take..

Telling the girl that you liked her, and then not seeing her for 3 months, was terrible timing.

But, in her defense, she was single, she wasn't dating you, so you can't cast negative judgement on her for hooking up with someone other than you. Of course this doesn't mean that you wouldn't get jealous! But you can't write her off as a bad person for just being single and doing what a single person does.

Your buddy on the other hand... What a low-act. You likely can't trust this guy at all, and there's not much of a benefit to having these types of people in your life. Trust is, imo, one of the most important qualities in a friend. If this guy considers cheating on his fiancee ok, he contains no moral virtue and the sooner he is out of your life, the better.

So, in short, her - you can talk to again, as she didn't morally do anything wrong by you.
Whether you decide to hook up in the future, is up to you..
Him though? Get him out of your life..

EDIT: Didn't see the part about her knowing he was engaged! If this is the case, she is an immoral little slooty and you should get rid of her too. It's a big ocean pimp.. Go swim with someone else

Mattk · 04-13-2008, 06:44 AM

Considering the guy told you to go for it, and then decided he was better and went for the girl himself, he's clearly not very supportive. Such selfish behaviour is unacceptable in friendship.

meetmeroundthecorner · 04-13-2008, 10:50 AM

Well put...I couldn't have answered it better myself!! The funny thing is that to add insult to injury they ended up on your bed and not the empty one???!!!

SamuraiGti · 04-13-2008, 11:07 AM

What a great friend

f430monzalover · 04-13-2008, 12:13 PM

Ok. I graduated med school 2 yrs ago and I actually did undergrad at U of Miami, so I am taking the time to help a bro out. From my experience. Neither one are your friends. We have all been drunk and have all done stupid shit, but we know damn well what we are doing. Its true we are inhibited, but we know that ultimately someone will get hurt. Med school is a bitch of a time, and after is tough to. Surround yourself with people that care about you and wont just shit on you. And the whole bros before hoes thing.... get some better bros. Listen I was in a fraternity ( Sigma Chi) in undergrad, and we never did that kind of shit to each other. My suggestions, find a hobby that isn't just medicine. Concentrate on your studies and forget both that duche bag of a friend and girl. I used to think that if you opened yourself to a girl she would shit on you, and believe me it happened many times, but you'll meet the right friends and girls that regardless of the situation you can always be yourself and the wont F%&k you in the end. Hang in there man.

RC45 · 04-13-2008, 01:36 PM

You might want to be the good friend here, and let his fiance know that he is an untrustworthy son of a bitch and she needs to be ready for him cheating when they are married.

freddiefish · 04-13-2008, 06:11 PM

Ignore them both. They both shouldn't treat you like this, especially not your friend. You can say the girl was single, but that's something that doesn't make it worse. She still did something you know is not nice to do. Do you still like her? If she does something like this, it's not a nice person I think. At least talk to her about it at some point, if she's still interested. Maybe if she shows she's still interested i'd take her, seems you really like her.

simona · 04-13-2008, 06:45 PM

Heh, Ur friend is a guy after all. We guys will take whatever free candy we can get. Tell his fiance about it. The girl is another story, does she know he was taken? If she did, she does not have any morals. If you were to get with her, be prepared for her to cheat on you.

04RCSTI · 04-13-2008, 06:58 PM

bros before hoes.

Apac102 · 04-13-2008, 07:10 PM

Yeah she knew he was engaged; thats the main reason why I don't want to talk to her because she's defintely a home wrecker and a cheater. I think I have that feeling though that I think it will work yet I have no idea why...is this normal? And as for the guy, he is getting married in 2months and he's still looking for "free candy"? I thought this stuff only happens in movies. I feel completely disrespected-sad-angry-frustrated.

I would get over this in no time flat if someone could help me understand why I can't get over her even after she Ive seen she is such a slut?

The guy is a douchebag and I know Im not going to waste my time with him. For me, cheating on your fiance is only a one time thing and is probably the lowest thing possible. And she was supporting him since he doesn't really have a job. He used her money to fly and cheat on her!

styla21 · 04-13-2008, 07:39 PM

Originally Posted by Apac102

For me, cheating on your fiance is only a one time thing and is probably the lowest thing possible. And she was supporting him since he doesn't really have a job. He used her money to fly and cheat on her!

Glad you have most of this in perspective, APac!
Most guys would be in denial right now.. You seem like you have it together and understand what's going on..

You probably feel like she's 'the one that got away'. This is why you still have some interest. Try to use logic, over your heart, if you get compromised - if she contacts you, wants to see you, etc,.. and stay away! It takes 14 days to get over a girl.
So of course you may have feelings - you really liked the girl! That part IS normal, stop beating yourself up over it. But as long as you can detach yourself over the next coming weeks, and don't do anything stupid such as seeing her - you will be fine.

The next girl you date is lucky mate. You have great values, and a better girl than this one will appreciate you more for them.

acmarttin · 04-13-2008, 09:10 PM

Originally Posted by RC45

You might want to be the good friend here, and let his fiance know that he is an untrustworthy son of a bitch and she needs to be ready for him cheating when they are married.

Right on.

79TA · 04-13-2008, 11:40 PM

Originally Posted by styla21

It takes 14 days to get over a girl.

Really, is that all? I can't say I agree, but I see the theory and your advice seems solid.

Cars are so much simpler.

While I don't think I've ever found it immediately consoling, the "there are always more fish in the sea" line seems is very true.

HeilSvenska · 04-13-2008, 11:58 PM

Ouch. He's not really one of your best friends, then, is he? If he did that fully knowing what you were thinking. And the girl, she's not worth it, man. I don't think it's too extreme. Both of them know what's going on. Eeesh. Tough. I hope none of my friends are like that behind my back.