04-14-2004, 04:47 AM
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#1
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Regular User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 243
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When Clarkson left TopGear back in March '99...
(from TopGear magazine)...
"Tiff is just the most brilliant driver. He's driven both Quentin and me when I didn't think we could get any more sideways and in a front-wheel drive car....
The piece I most regret was on peugeot 306. Before and during filming I just didn't like the car and said so. But driving it home and over the next few days I warmed to it more and more. So, by 8:35pm on the Thursday I remember looking out at the car in the drive, thinking how nice it was, while I could hear myself on the TV saying that it was rubbish. Of course, the piece that attracted the most reaction was my description of the newly launched Ford Probe as being able to "snap knicker elastic at 50 paces"...
(Clarkson's most famous moment on television...)
Starts with Clarkson on the mobile to TG director. "I know it's the replacement for the Cavalier but it's just a box on wheels. What? You want a six-minute road test? OK, you know best."
Turns to camera. "Ladies and gentleman, here it is, the new Vauxhall Vectra. It's been a lovely summer, though, hasn't it...(chats about the weather before being interrupted by another phone call).
"Oh, you want six minutes on the car? But it'll be the most boring bit of TV since the potter's wheel. Oh, all right then."
Listlessly describes body style, engine variants and is unable to maintain interest, so decides that a road test might be the answer. Drives around seemingly endless country lanes with only the noise of tyres on tarmac to break the silence. Appears to think of something before shaking head.
"Here's something. Accelerate and it goes faster, brake and it goes slower, turn the wheel and it goes around a corner." Struggling to find something of interest, he goes into great detail about the clock which, he tells us, gets its information from an atomic clock in Germany. But its 2 minutes slow.
More driving shots of the car. "If you want to know what this car's like - look in the dictinary under car. I'm bored, bored, bored."
Sounding increasingly desperate, he wishes for a fiat Panda or Suzuki Vitara. "I can't think of anything interesting to say," he complains.
After a range of reps give their opinion on the car he moves on to a car park where he remembers "the cunning tool which gets the dust covers off the tyre valves" and triumphantly proclaims: "If this is what you always wanted, then this is the car for you."
Searching to make up the rest of the time, he says, "Great door mirrors." Checks watch.
"Five minutes 58...59...and cut!"[/u]
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04-14-2004, 05:46 AM
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#2
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Regular User
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: London
Posts: 843
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Haha you have to love Clarkson
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"It's not long before Marco arrives, but he's at least five minutes behind an epic wall of noise that's been bouncing off the rock faces like a sonic pinball. Onlookers, of which there are many, seem relieved when the livid red Ferrari skims into view, happier still when they see it's driven by a friendly Italian, and not, as the thunderous sound effects suggested, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse." Evo #059
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04-14-2004, 08:29 AM
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#3
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Regular User
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Santiago, Chile
Posts: 2,558
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That is the hell of an attitude
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"It changes direction like a fly, grips like a barnacle and goes like a jet fighter on combat power" ( Lambo Gallardo ) .JC.
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04-14-2004, 08:57 AM
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#4
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Regular User
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 3,224
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LOL... i emember watching the Vectra review... somebody should post it in the VV, cos everybody should see Clarksons humour 
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04-14-2004, 09:19 AM
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#5
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Regular User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: nfld, Canada
Posts: 915
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i do not think i have ever seen that review??
it sounds great though, classic for sure!!
anyone have it?
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"If you even look at that engine, it'll kill you" - JC
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04-14-2004, 11:34 AM
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#6
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Estonia
Posts: 431
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I have heard and read about his vectra review and i would love to see that.In one last years episode he used only V not Vectra. 
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04-14-2004, 01:35 PM
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#7
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Regular User
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Santiago, Chile
Posts: 2,558
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How can we get it ? i want to see that review badluy , im sure we can get some hosting for it , if its less than 50mb it can go in the vault , please contact me
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"It changes direction like a fly, grips like a barnacle and goes like a jet fighter on combat power" ( Lambo Gallardo ) .JC.
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04-14-2004, 09:57 PM
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#8
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Regular User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 4,566
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I would love to see that.. if it's bigger than 50mb I'll host it at school......
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04-14-2004, 10:01 PM
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#9
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Regular User
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Santiago, Chile
Posts: 2,558
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BTW N.J where did you get that article ? you could share the addie with us 8)
__________________
"It changes direction like a fly, grips like a barnacle and goes like a jet fighter on combat power" ( Lambo Gallardo ) .JC.
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04-15-2004, 02:41 AM
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#10
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Regular User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Lat: -31 56.84 505 Long. 116.00.09 5 Australia
Posts: 2,855
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please note him saying tiff is the best driver, i think that statment alone ends ALOT fo arguments 
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04-15-2004, 03:05 AM
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#11
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Regular User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 243
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Originally Posted by PATo355
BTW N.J where did you get that article ? you could share the addie with us 8)
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Mate - read the 1st line from my 1st post 
p.s
"addie" 
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04-15-2004, 08:49 PM
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#12
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Regular User
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 2,737
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I remember seeing that Vectra review very well. It absolutely made my day. Actually I think it was more like a week...
I dislike Opels/Vauxhalls so much, I really enjoyed him completely butchering this car on national British TV.  If anyone were to find this video and upload it to the VV it would be the first video with a Vauxhall in it on my HD.
BTW, he did the same thing with the current Astra. All the way through the review he slagged it. At the end he sat down at dinner or a cup of tea and took a look at the price/feature list. Suddenly he changed direction and became really positive about the car. But he did it in such a way that the viewers were aware he didn't mean a word of it. He was basically impersonating the people who buy such a car and made everyone clear that they're a) cheap spineless bastards or b) clueless about what matters when it comes to cars. No need to say I'd like to see that review again as well.
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04-15-2004, 11:42 PM
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#13
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Regular User
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Santiago, Chile
Posts: 2,558
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Originally Posted by N.J.
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Originally Posted by PATo355
BTW N.J where did you get that article ? you could share the addie with us 8)
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Mate - read the 1st line from my 1st post
p.s
"addie" |
Oh sorry it was from a magazine , Addie = address , i thought you got it from an internet page 
__________________
"It changes direction like a fly, grips like a barnacle and goes like a jet fighter on combat power" ( Lambo Gallardo ) .JC.
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04-16-2004, 01:13 AM
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#14
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Regular User
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Co
Posts: 98
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If someone has it please post it up sounds like a great review!
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04-16-2004, 03:33 AM
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#15
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Regular User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 243
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Originally Posted by PATo355
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Originally Posted by N.J.
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Originally Posted by PATo355
BTW N.J where did you get that article ? you could share the addie with us 8)
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Mate - read the 1st line from my 1st post
p.s
"addie" |
Oh sorry it was from a magazine , Addie = address , i thought you got it from an internet page |
No worries - when I become a full member, I'll scan the article and send it in.
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