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corpse_grinder0 · 09-28-2005, 10:13 AM

ok so we should all share our blonde jokes. ill start with a couple on the top of my head.

-A blonde was sitting on the train reading the newspaper. The
headline blared "12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed."

She shook her head at the sad news, then turned to the stranger sitting next to her and asked,

"How many is a Brazilian?"

-How do you drown a blond?
Put a scratch & sniff on the bottom of a pool.

corpse_grinder0 · 09-29-2005, 04:55 AM

Originally Posted by goodduck

thats odd...

i JUST got this email.

Rumsfeld is reporting to the Cabinet. He says "3 Brazilian soldiers were

killed today in Iraq"

Bush says "Oh, my " as he buries his head in his hands.

The Cabinet is stunned. Usually the President shows no reaction to these

reports.

Then looking up, Bush asks "How many is a brazilian?"

coincidence??!?!?!?!?! I.....think.......not..........

corpse_grinder0 · 09-29-2005, 06:34 PM

A man was in his front yard mowing grass, when his attractive blonde female neighbor, Judy, came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.

A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box, and again opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, YOU'VE GOT MAIL."

corpse_grinder0 · 09-30-2005, 09:34 AM

nobody has blonde jokes to add?!?!?!?!

One Blonde speaking to the another while contemplating a visit from Texas to Florida: "which is closer, the moon, or Florida?" the other answers: "the moon silly, you cant see Florida!"

numerouno · 10-01-2005, 07:06 AM

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

numerouno · 10-01-2005, 07:09 AM

Are You Really Sure?
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

__________________________________________________ ________

Blonde Car Accident
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"